awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize