i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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