I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
