Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
