Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
