I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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