if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
