Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
