she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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