420 ftw
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
