I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
well you can't waste a boner
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
