That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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