So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
