I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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