HIV tests are more positive than that guy
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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