I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i dont even know how to be here
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
