my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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