Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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