So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
