You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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