My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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