what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
