it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
