she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
