All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
