THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
