you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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