considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
