forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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