pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
