Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
