Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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