They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
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We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
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I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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