i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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