If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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