I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
They are going to name an STD after you.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think people are normalizing furries
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
