I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
