I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
