Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
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No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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