I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
