how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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