i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
