The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
