I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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