I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
