the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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