About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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