dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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