$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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