my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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