No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
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just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
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In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize