Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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