You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
