i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
