btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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