I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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