Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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