My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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