So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
