I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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