I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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