I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
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LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
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orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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