just tell him i said nine months
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
They have beer where we have blood.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize