literally had 100 drinks last night.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
