You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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